i've concluded something. that no matter how much i care for someone, or how much i show that i do, if the person doesnt 'see' me, it wouldnt matter. it just wouldnt be anything fantastic, nor would it be anything worth remembering. and i realise that though someone may be seemingly close, there's still a lack of understanding and appreciating. like for example, if someone isnt feeling well, i msg, i nag. but the person just doesnt see it. its not that i want all my efforts to be recognised, but it has just hit a point where i wish that one day, just one day, people will see that i do mean what i say, and that im here for them no matter what.

was talking to rach the other day about people we're close to.
how close is close? is it the people whom we contact even when we dont meet, be it through sms, calls or msn? it got me thinking about the people i do contact, and i realised that there wasnt many, and that though we may go out in groups, the people i hang out with may not give two hoots about whats going on in my life, nor would they be interested to listen. pity eh, seeing how people just go out and not know anything else about the people around them. it made me wonder about friendships, and how it all just seems so shallow sometimes. i know that as much as i wanted to open up, there's no one on the receiving end who'd listen. sad eh. oh wells. i dont quite want to accept the fact that i hate it, and yet, i still live with it.

i am looking for a job. but does time permit? im not sure.
i think, i'll go for DOC, as much as some of the people irk me.
but i shall. because i know it will be fun, and because i know that i will learn from it. so yeah.

alrighty, its saturday, and tomorrow's easter. its scary, seeing how quickly time has passed, and how the end of lent is here. but i shall embrace the coming of the Lord. so yeah.
licia's bday party's tomorrow too. hope it'll be a blast.

hmmm, hokay. time to think about my life and make plans for the week. gdnight loves. :)