its like, everything suddenly feels the way it was in the past. all these feelings that cannot be tolerated, controlled, or understood. i dont know why i feel this way.. its like, the last thing i need.
its people, i suppose, who created this. the day went really awful.. people i love suddenly had this attitude that was so unlike them. it was as though i was at the receiving end of all their semi-conscious actions. i dont know.. all i know is that im feeling really poop-ie now.
i just dont know how to put all these feelings into words.. i need some kind of refreshment. i need some form of retreat.
and im having this issue with regards to trusting. the past few weeks have left me wondering.. are people who they make themselves out to be, or is there some kind of facade that keeps me from knowing if they are being true.. i really hate trying to decipher their code which masks their uttermost basic being. not that i have to, but sometimes, if i dont, i might get hurt. and that has happened before.. its just absolutely annoying.
argh. i dont know what im feeling! cant seem to put my finger on it. i just need to relax man.
going for a swim now.