omg haha i think i need to release here. i dont know if i can deal with things in life. like, sometimes, i know i expect too much. i may think that things can be oh-so-wonderful and that everything can be settled only if i believed in it, but i guess im wrong. the expectations can really hurt whenever it falls short of what i believe in. being optimistic is getting a bit tiring.. sigh, i dunno. im stuck in one of those days where waterfalls can appear anytime. haha. i just need to rant. and omg im getting older. that step is really scary. i dont quite know how to approach july the fifth. i mean, honestly, ever since sec school, i always presumed i'd never hit the big two-one. so reaching this stage is quite scary. i think its quite silly to think of life this way, but, i dunno.. im just, tired. i feel like a water balloon now. was sharing with jiewen, that we'd burst. soon. soon. i think very soon. blehh. i dunno. im just sad now. for expecting too much. for hoping too much. and for maybe even wanting too much. its too much to think about now. i shall go back to working on submission stuff. sigh.