the feeling is like.. wahh.
i really dont know why it feels that way.
hmmm anyways, the past few days have been pretty interesting.. did a lot of things that i've never before, and i enjoyed every single moment of it. but it did result in feelings that i didnt expect.. weird.
its like, you know it wont work out, and that it never will, no matter how much the signs may say something, it could very well be your misinterpretation. and to go all out to do something special, only to deliver it without much fancy, makes it so not fulfilling. but no regrets. all i hope for is to keep in line, and not do anything stupid that may affect whatever is already there. i mean, i should never expect anything. for it is only when you least expect something that it becomes meaningful and more memorable.
and so, i leave this confusing entry with yet again an unsolved mess in my head. a mess that i wish to untangle but if i do so, i may just fall apart. gosh, i hope God helps me out here a little before i fall too deep and start thinking too much. i refuse to hit the state of a head full of white. and so, i shall live in my mental cell and try to make sense of the things that affect my oh-so-easily-affected mind.