"hold your head high, heavy hearts."

hmmm. my heart's heavy, and im cant seem to put my finger on the cause. i feel as though all this sensitivity to my surroundings and the unfolding events seem to drag me further down into a pit of unrecognisable emotions, that clutter my thinking space. i cant quite understand why i feel this way, or how such a small action, or more likely, a lack of reaction, has made me feel lost again. grr. i really dislike this feeling, and the worst thing is, im not supposed to be feeling this way. it doesnt make sense, nor does it make it right. the unbalanced situation is making me think too much. gosh, i really dislike it. oh wells.

went over to matt's with rach, van and ron. had a ball of a time with the water game. haha, no no, its not splashing water, but more of drinking water. if you're curious to find out why on earth i had to go to the washroom thrice after the game ended, come to me, and i'll let you know what the game is all about. in any case, i just really enjoyed spending time with them, though i felt a bit distant occassionally. my mind wasnt really focussed on the game, nor the number of shots i had to take. ahh. i need to stop thinking.

alrighto, its getting late, and i need to get up to prepare christmas gifts. good night loves.