the freedom writers. the one show i've been wanting to watch, and i finally managed to catch it today. all i can say is, wow. im amazed at how wonderful hope is. im amazed at the effort people put in to make a change. im amazed at the way things can work out somehow.. with faith. there were times in life when i felt like i was living a nightmare. times when i felt that my life was quite bumpy, with so many obstacles in play. and oh boy, was i so wrong. the freedom writers once again opened my eyes to the luxury im living. it opened my eyes to the life which im so blessed with, and yet, i somehow sometimes take it for granted. the past few weeks have been horrid, and when i think back about all that i've done, and all that i've been through, i realised that its the choices i make that make things good or bad. it doesnt matter what people think about me, or the past misdeeds that i've committed. what matters is that i know that i can make a difference, and i can decide whether or not things will go well for me, or not. it seems to all be a matter of opinion, of perception. the past few weeks i had chosen to see things from a very negative point of view. i chose to see my life as mundane, and meaningless. and all this while, i thought no one could feel more shit than me. it even hit the point whereby i thought i was on the brink of depression. but now i see, i can choose to make everything worthwhile. i can choose to say, "hey, things arent that bad. i can get through it." and im right. i can. as much as i may be upset, beaten down, or angry about situations and events, i know that i can get through it. all it takes is just some optimism. the freedom writers reiterated my stand on how we always have choices to make, and that i need not be so bogged down with the way things dont go my way. i figured, i just need to sort things out, and cross the bridge with planks of hope. i feel much better knowing that there are many people fighting the disease of disappointment, anger, and fallen hope. and i know that no matter what, i can get through this.

alright, this feels like a super pep talk, but it helps. just wish i could share everything with someone i trust, and i know who'll never judge me. ahh. life. im inspired.